Being asked to write a wedding toast can be as big of an honor as it is daunting. Whether you are the maid of honor, best man, or parent of the bride or groom, we have you covered with the ultimate wedding toast guide. With these foolproof tips, your speech is sure to be memorable for the right reasons.
General Dos and Don’ts
The first thing to keep in mind is that there are many ways to deliver a great wedding toast. You can set yourself up for success with preparation, and by being yourself! It may be cliche, but you were asked to give a speech for a reason. The bride and groom trust you with this responsibility, and think you are one of the best people in their lives for the job. Cover your bases for an unforgettable wedding toast with our top six tips:
1. Know Your Crowd
Knowing your audience is key to any speech, but in the context of wedding toasts, it helps to keep in mind that the audience is going to be on your side. Everyone will be in a good mood, ready to party, excited for the couple, and wanting you to succeed. While that’s not license to go crazy, it can be helpful to keep in mind to defeat your nerves. It’s a friendly crowd!
2. Write it All Down
Even if it’s just a couple index cards, you’re going to want to write your wedding toast out. It’s probably not necessary to write out your entire wedding toast verbatim, but if that helps, then go for it! Having even just a couple lines to keep you on track will be enormously helpful, as nothing brings the party down quite like watching someone struggle to remember what they were going to say. Don’t put your friends and family through it!
3. Focus on the Couple
A good wedding toast can (and should) include your relationship to the couple, and how they appear through your eyes, but it’s not about you—they’re the ones getting married! If you’re incorporating specific anecdotes into your wedding toast, they should generally be brief and show people in a positive light. Of course, you can (gently) roast the couple, but it’s still got to be about them. Show them off, don’t give the party a list of all the things you think. If you’ve ever been at a wedding where someone doesn’t follow this rule, you’ll know it’s memorable, and not in a good way.
4. Keep it PG (or PG-13)
This one is a pretty self-evident part of a good wedding toast, and an extension of knowing your audience. Anecdotes, advice, quotes—all should be more or less family friendly. When in doubt, you can ask yourself if you’d want to recite your toast directly to a kid or a grandparent, since both will likely be in attendance!
5. Sincerity Wins
One of the most common ways people go astray when giving a wedding toast is to try too hard to be funny, or make a speech that steals the show. Remember, everyone is there to celebrate the newlyweds—if you’re feeling pressure to deliver a memorable speech, remember that you can’t go wrong with sincerity and well wishes. Talking from the heart about what you love about the couple, how they complement each other, and your well wishes for them will never go out of style.
6. Raise a Glass
Of course, you’ll have to wrap up your wedding toast by actually raising a glass and toasting the couple. You can’t go wrong with toasting the happiness of the couple, but it can also be a chance to honor the couple’s heritage, so it’s worth looking up any culturally relevant toasts. Cent’ anni!
What is the Typical Order of Toasts at a Wedding?
The traditional order of wedding speeches are as follows: the parents of the bride, the parents of the groom, the maid of honor, and finally the best man. If you are one of the people writing a wedding toast, your speech will be different depending on your relationship to the couple. After all, the mother of the bride will probably have a few different things to say than the best man. Let’s dive in and keep our eyes on toasts!
Parent of the Newlywed
The wedding toast of any parent should accomplish two things: express your pride in your child, and welcome their new partner into your family. You obviously have a wealth of stories to choose from, but choose positive ones that center your child’s accomplishments and growth, to reflect on the milestone event of a wedding. We also like parental speeches that share their first impressions of their new child-in-law, or the moment they realized that their child had found their forever partner.
Maid of Honor
If you’re the maid of honor, you’ll have a large well of anecdotes to pick from for your wedding toast. We’d recommend starting with ones (again, not too raunchy or incriminating) that feature the bride before she met her now-spouse, and transition to ones that star them as a couple. Avoid talk of exes (even if it’s a really funny story), and keep the attention off yourself. Take a deep breath, and you’ll knock your toast out of the park!
Best Man
Best man wedding toasts have a reputation for being a bit off the rails, so your main focus should be to keep it on track. A bit more debauchery than a maid of honor speech is perhaps expected, but don’t take things too far—think of the kid/grandparent rule above. A common pitfall of best man speeches is falling into nonstop stories and inside jokes, so don’t be afraid to talk about your feelings and your emotional connection to the newlyweds!
Bonus! Sibling of the Newlywed
The best sibling speeches strike a tone somewhere in between a parent and a member of the wedding party—siblings have the lifetime of experience that parents do, but are, typically, contemporaries and friends. Keep memories positive, and center the couple. Especially if you’re an older sibling especially, avoid condescension and let your sibling and their spouse have the spotlight.
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Ok, shameless plug, but we’d really be neglecting our job if we wrote out a whole guide about the perfect wedding toast without mentioning that we sell cups that are really perfect to toast with. Come to think of it, we have all aspects of your wedding covered, from the first invitations you send, to day of napkins, matches, and more! If you’re looking for inspo for a theme, we’ve got your back with professionally designed party themes, so don’t wait to get started on the best wedding toast ever! Take a deep breath, raise a glass, and rock the show!
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